Rethinking & Changing our Strongholds

I wish life was a bit easier. Years of just having enough money makes one weary but anxious just waiting for the proverbial other shoe to drop. Yet faith should remove that anxious worry feeling, but I am human, and despite my prayers, my pleas, my faith, it seems worrying & fears just creep back in.

So I listen, I pray, I read the His word.

You know our minds are our own worst enemy. We think more about the negative words that have been spoken to us, seemingly ignoring any positive ones. We keep replaying the negative when we need to remind ourselves of Gods positive truths. I am thankful that God continues to nudge my spirit reminding me of all the provisions he has provided. I continue to remind myself if I am complaining, then I need to be thankful for what I do have.

We also tend focus on the problem, what we want to change, allowing this to become the idol. We create a stronghold. “As long as our minds rehearse the strength of our stronghold more than the strength of our God, we will be impotent.” Beth Moore. Each day I worry about money. I remind myself just how bad I am with money and then think of the things we need and want…my idol, my stronghold.

My challenge:

1)      Rethink and replace the negative with God’s truth constantly! Remind myself of God’s continued provision continuously.

2)      Acknowledge the strongholds, the idols which I have allowed before God.

How do you manage the negative thoughts? Do you replace them with Gods truth immediately? Or do you allow them to linger and manifest? What do you do when problems arise? Hard times come knocking? Do you play over and over what YOU can do, what YOU should do, instead of going directly to God?

Rethink & Change your thoughts & strongholds by prioritizing and placing God 1^st.

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Are you weary?

The other morning I woke up to "Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest!" It is a verse I know and try to think of when I am low on faith and belief. Yet, I wasn't sure why I was thinking this. We continue to struggle and I feel as if the devil is breathing down our back, planting negativity, and putting a wedge, placing doubts all over.

I grow weary with the same old battles. It's as if my adult life has been nothing but a battle with both money and food.

Money – Feeling deserved. Wow feeling of being justified – justified to spend what I want. Justified to keep what I want. That literally screams me, me, me! Nothing will change until I humble myself, and remove the god of money that seems to be wedged between me and God….between me and the man. I keep wanting things to change – wanting to be able to help the man way more – wanting my business to bloom – wanting to help my other daughter with her wedding – wanting to help my daughter at school. God will continue to work on me and refine me.

Food – I love to eat and I love food. This too seems to be a battle that I have faced for a few years. Looking back my real addiction to food came once I quit smoking. I won't lie, sometimes I teeter that line of wanting to really smoke again. Too focused on the next meal – too focused on the foods I should eat – the foods I shouldn't eat, which all in the end just makes my focus on eating….The god of food. So here I am wanting to weigh 30+ pounds less – wanting to eat completely healthy, natural foods. Yet I look at money…never enough to buy what I want…once again…me, me, me.

Yes I am weary, but yes I am truly thankful that God is a merciful, loving, patient God, that will continue to mold me and refine me. My mindset needs to change…my money and my food gods have got to go….Now I suddenly understand why I felt the need to read the books of the Major Prophets in the bible…

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I ain’t no angel

Have you ever heard a song that made you think of someone else? Or perhaps a part of your past? Sometimes you hear a song, listen to the lyrics and wonder…and why did I like this song??! There are some 80's music that I often wonder….

The other day "Better than I use to be" by Tim McGraw came on the radio. I'd hear the song and it would make me think of my significant other. This day particular day I heard this song, all I could think of was myself. Let me tell you, God and I have had some talks lately, some rounds, some doubts, some questions, some eye opening, some discipline, some fear and despite my doubts some strong faith…

"I aint no angel, I still got a few more dances with the devil I'm cleaning up my act little by little, I'm getting there….I aint as good as I'm gonna get But I'm better than I used to be." "I've pinned a lot of demons to the ground I've got a few old habits left"

It seems like the past year or so, I have been fighting my own demons, had dances with the devil, and at times it feels like a never ending battle. Its more than just a constant barrage of bad things happening, the constant rain, its more the battle of one's belief, one's faith, and ones doubts…It has been a lesson of learning to simply let go and let God, which has been the hardest part of all.

I have realized going straight to God is the 1^st place I need to go. Yet it's a lesson I relearn constantly. Oh I know God could do it, but let me just try!! I wish I could become instantly frugal with money or at least win a million and not worry about it! I wish I had the drive eat & exercise to be a healthy person. I wish I had my act together, but I don't…

So step by step (forwards & back), I am cleaning up my act. I am not as good as I'm gonna get, but I am better than I used to be.

 
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Wind knocked out of ya

Ever had the wind knocked out of you? Today has been that kind of day, or rather morning. I could look to place blame or I could even question God – why did you let this happen? – But deep down I know the truth. We let ourselves get side tracked, we listen to that little voice telling us we need this or we need that – hey it doesn't cost that much. We allow ourselves to blame others. Why should we take responsibility?

I have also learned the dark one is quite good at laying on the negativity when we are down. He is quick to bring up the wrongs we have done, and swift to remind us we really are unworthy. So good at bringing up things that have nothing to do with the trial at hand! Each thought I have had to push out of my mind, letting words to Christian rock songs take over my thoughts and listen to God.

By the time evening fell I really wondered what can I change? What can I do differently? (Well me handing over all money I make is probably the only option I need to have!!) Aside from that, God reminded me of one of my prayers – "Take away my old emotional mindsets, automatic reactions, rude assumptions & self-protection stance." Though I am getting better (still have far to go), God reminded me that I am still clinging to my old emotional mindsets and my rude assumptions.

I can say without a doubt, today I turned directly to God, seeking forgiveness and seeking mercy. Which just goes to show me deep inside, even though I push her aside, faith is a strong force to be reckoned with! In times of trial, my faith seeks God like a boat seeks a lighthouse in a storm.

I am still battling my belief, my faith and my doubts, but today God won. It was God that reminded me that my past is forgiven, that I truly am a worthy daughter of God and that the past, is in the past. I know I am getting closer to God, and today I completely trusted him. I know God's got this. I know that though the path is difficult, trials are rough, God's got this and though I don't want to continue to fight and battle, I know without a doubt the other side, that light at the end of the tunnel is coming…

Sure would like it to be sooner verse later J


 
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Its been awhile

It seems I have slacked again on my blog….Honestly I just didn't know what to write or how to put into words what my thoughts have been.

The past few weeks I once again have struggled with my faith, my belief. I have had that nagging little voice in the back of my head telling me "See God couldn't possibly hear all of us." Or "A logical, analytical mind cannot be a Christian as well." Or "Parts of the Bible just seem to be quite exaggerated that it cannot be real."

Oh these sentences can go on and on. For weeks as I have been the doubting Thomas, and the one of little faith, but I have also dug deeper into Gods words. I cannot say that God's words were like magic and fixed my doubts, my fears, my beliefs…I wish it was that easy, but it wasn't. It was a struggle, a fight within, and somewhere deep inside, my faith stood her ground (even when I thought my faith was low). My faith, with God's words, is what has been helping me to get out of this funk I have been in.

I know our faith and belief is tested. I also know that our sins are brought to light to clean house. God is making us better, making us rely less on what we think we need, what we think others can give us, and to solely rely on him. As I learn to trust God more, believe more, one by one I am handing over control. Pretty damn scary if I must say, but also relieving… For the first time, I handed God my doubts, my fears every single day. Yup every day God would get my worries, my struggles with my belief, my doubts, my fears, and I would let him have them, and I continue to hand them over…every single day…

 
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